pocketknife manicures and other boy behavior

Boys are weird...I mean..err..different.  Yes, different.  They do some pretty stra- I mean, interesting, things.  I've started taking note.  Here's some of what I've observed:

• They think it's cool to blow things up.  Anything.  Anywhere.  Anytime.
• They're pretty obsessed with their own body and all its functions.  And they like to tell you all about it.  The grosser, the better.  Try not to gag.
• They give themselves manicures using their pocketknife.  Cuticles and all. 
• They will hold their forks like shovels and eat bites of food the size of shovels too.
• They are fascinated with fire, even setting themselves aflame.  Don't tell them you have any old furniture you're throwing out.  They'll want to burn it in some epic bonfire.  Don't mention old Christmas trees either.
• They think holding you in a headlock and tickling you until you almost pee your pants qualify as showing affection.
• They love us, even when we do weird things* too.

*eating half a pan of brownies in one night, obsessively reapplying chapstick, changing clothes 8 times before leaving the house (just to name a few)