hiatus

This post is a notice of my hiatus from blogging for awhile. You might be thinking, "Hiatus? Didn't she just start up again a month ago?" Well, yes. And I have enjoyed writing my thoughts here. However, I have turned blogging into another part of the comparison game I play. You know the game - the one where you measure yourself by how much you either exceed or fall short of some other person in whatever category. I compare appearances, talents, and possessions. My new flavor of comparison, though, is much worse I think. I am comparing relationships. Recently a couple of friends of mine started blogging. They are actually what prompted me to get back into the blogging world. I thought "Hey, I used to blog too! That was kind of fun. I'll do that again." But then that turned into, "Hey, look at me! I blog too! Read my blog!", which turned into "Hey, why aren't as many people reading my blog? Why don't I have as many 'followers'?" All of this ultimately turns into "Hey, people don't care about me as much. People don't like me as much. People don't want to read what I have to say." This is a dangerous, lie-filled road, and one that I am refusing to continue following. This line of thought threatens my self-worth, my relationships with my friends, and ultimately my view of my mighty, loving, gracious God. And that is something I cannot sacrifice. So until blogging becomes something I do for pure enjoyment for myself and the desire to speak to people - whether it's 1 or 100 - through writing, I will no longer be posting. My blog will collect cyber cobwebs. My life will fill with other things. And one day, perhaps, I'll be back. With a fresher perspective and with a healthier heart.

Emily